Men, Women and Regions

So here we are again, another week and I'm writing another post (though i probably should have written this one a week ago).

I spent some time going through Tamil Nadu, then up to Rishikesh and I am no at the Swami Rama Ashram just outside of Rishikesh town. It's a beautiful place where the Ganga flows by serenely and the chanting from nearby temples floats down from the hills and across the river. It's a new section to my journey so you might notice a change in my future posts, who knows.

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Every place in India that I go I am struck by the differences to the last. 'INDIA' seems like a unity from the outside but we forget that it is about the size of Europe and of course each region has it's own flavour and even different flavours within it.

Being from the UK I am subtly aware of the different accents we have and the reputations of the different places. Being a londoner I of course don't know where these places are and cant tell the difference between the voice of someone from leeds or liverpool, but hey I'm from the capital I dont need to know these things. Right?

I suppose that every region in India has similar nuances that I'm just not picking up but there are some things which I've noticed.

People in Kerala smile. If they make eye contact with you a grin comes onto their face and more often than not they will try to talk to you, especially if you're on a bus. Maybe it's the fact that they are the most affluent region or that they are more used to tourists or maybe even that they have the highest literacy rate in India. But the fact remains that you feel welcome there.

In Tamil Nadu people are far harder. The towns are noisier. People will try to scratch money from you, raise prices and generally rip you off. When you make eye contact with someone on the street they glare at you, you do not feel welcome.
Apart from maybe in Pondicherry. Here the french made a Galic outpost, with wide tree shaded streets. Even though the french are not there their influence most certainly is. Decent croissant and bread can be bought in bakeries and there is a general European vibe about the city. It's very much still india with the honking or bikes and tuk-tuks but there is a different feel in the air.

Rishikesh is something else entirely. A massive spot for both Indian and Western tourists it is a hub of spirituality and business. There is a feel of calm pervading the atmosphere, perhaps provided by the Ganga flowing gently by or slowly seeping into the general consciousness because so many people here are meditating and practicing stillness and calm in the ashrams. Regardless it is an amazing place. The hawkers and shop owners dont bother you. Cows walk leisurely through the streets. And most of the people I've met walk around with an open heart, happy to talk to new people and hug them - even without having had a single drink.

Every place I visit creates a new insight within me. Each new culture reflects on my own.
This is what traveling is about, experiencing other modes of being that throw your own into a new light.

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While in Tamil Nadu I noticed some things about men and women in India that made me realise how very different the roots of this society are to my own.

On the train I started talking to a man who was with his family, I asked him where he was from 'Rajastan' he said, explaining that they were on their way to see family. I turned to the other adult in the carriage asking her where she was from. He replied 'My wife is from Rajastan also'. I could see that she understood me but there was a look of slight shock when I spoke to her. The husband speaks for the wife, you dont talk or even look at another mans wife. Shocking and not true in all of India but true for this family.

It's been explained to me that for a man in Indian society a wife is for family but men are for the connection of souls. It's similar to Ancient Greece in a way, Woman are for Children, Men are for Pleasure. Homosexuality is very taboo here but men will walk arm in arm, hand in hand along the street whereas they wont talk to and perhaps even wont look directly at a woman. Strange how at home physical contact between opposite sexs is socially acceptable but if two men touch in any form of affectionate way that is hitting each other then it's seen as award - and god forbid that anyone see it and think you were one of those homosexuals that I hear about in the news corrupting our children. Women in our society I guess have less of an issue, can walk down the street arm in arm, but you wont see that in India. Strange rules both here and at home. Why can't we all just be ok with touching each other as long as both people are happy? Why does English society have such a problem with physical contact in the first place? From where comes this inability to hug?

In Delhi and the other big cities (e.g. Mumbai and Chennai) people are more western. You see girls wearing trousers and even once I saw hot pants - a scandal to my eyes I can tell you (I kid you not). Men wear t-shirts where in the country they only ever wear shirts. The cities try to emulate western society, even to the point of there being a HUGE industry in skin whitening creams.
I wonder if this westernisation will trickle into the rest of the country? I wonder whether over the next few hundred years different societies will trend towards each other. It's possible though perhaps not. And if it did what would it look like? With the decline of the west and the growth of India and China perhaps in a hundred years we'll be saying things in hindi and people will be getting surgery on their eyes to look asian.

Then again probably not. Whatever the rich can afford will be the fashion. If its rich to stay out of the sun and not work in the fields people will want to be white. If its rich to be able to afford to not work and instead go on expensive holidays to hot countries then being brown will be what people want.

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So the bell rings and that means its lunch time at the ashram. Time for me to go and eat. I dont know when I'll write next but I will.
Ciao